From the heart

its probably menopause or whatever..but thoughts are swarming in my mind. things regarding relationships, friendships, the future.. basically life.
i realised that i have different perspectives on things than other people.. and not many can understand..
the people who hurt u the most are those who are closest to you.. this phrase is so true because they are the ones who u expect them to understand how u feel..but when things go the other way u start questioning in ur mind "y are they doing this when they know i'll be unhappy" "do they really care?". im sure everyone have these private questions but not many people.. wait.. not many women will voice it out directly, however u expect people to comprehend.. read between the lines..cause we noe women think too much. call this stereotyping but i AM someone like that.
i never much display unhappiness when im with my friends because i love them and i care bout them too much.. despite all those pessimistic views in my mind, i always chose the positive. i always weigh the good over the bad because i still believe there's always a bright side to everything.
i think too much about how people feel.. how do i make them feel better.. so much so that i'd nt care bout what i want at all...im sure some of my friends do realise this about me..
i have an amazing ability to compromise, this is my strength but also one of my greatest weakness. because it comes to a point where u're taken advantage of and people just walk all over you.
i love doing stuff for people i love and care, i'd hunt down things that i think they'd realy like, i'd go anywhere if they need company..i'd cry with you, i'd laugh with you.. i just ask for one thing.. appreciation..
there's definitely a change in personality.. i noe what i am capable of but confidence is fading when there's not many people out there pushing you up, instead.. they pull u down.. till it reaches a point where u haf no goal and u instill the anything-also-can attitude.
there are also some who think very highly of themselves.. i do admire this people.. but when they are wrong and don't admit it but push it to someone else, i find it very disturbing.. however, it also hurts to realise that this people are the ones who could survive the corporate world.
i like people to be honest with me..criticism or whatever.. just not to the point of obnoxious.. just plain insult with no good coming out of it..

don't get me wrong, i still love my life and appreciate everythign that was given to me.. my FRIENDS, my family, my bf.. i'd give up the whole world for them..


esp my girls.. because i noe they are hard to come by.. and having friends who stand by you for 6-12+ years is really rare. and i love them more than anything..they're incredible.


alvin, one word comes straight to me..LUCKY. i was a naive and ditzy sec 1 girl who had a huge crush on a sec 3 guy. thank goodness he turned out to be great. :) he stood by me and has seen the darkest side of me.. thank god for him.


my poly mates..poly would never be as fun if it werent for you guys.. not many close heart to heart friends.. but im so thankful for fab, pqk, adz and sylvia! time really flies and i cant imagine wat'll happen when we graduate..we must keep in contact alrights~


my family is phenomenal.. i cant get enough of my parents, i cant get enough of my sisters. i get homesick when im away from home for 2 days..i have great cousins.. and its a pity that we are not as close to siyuan sihui and sihua as before.. if nt life would have been 5 cherries on a cake.