yay

things are good now.. things are good! :) thanks for everything.

u just noe that at some point of ur life.. u need to be independant.
im glad things are much better now.. we both haf a mutual understanding.
i stil believe that we haf to be happy as an individual before u can be happy in a relationship.
im gonna fulfil my dreams and do what i really wanna do when im young. i wana be successful and live life to the fullest.
life's great so far.. but i noe there's gotta be more than this.
things are gonna get better. for you.. for me..

im scared

i knew it was coming.. but i din know it'd turn out this way. guess this is the best for both of us. but im really scared.. the moment i stepped out of the car i never stopped feeling scared. what if i lose you forever?
i noe i can never find anyone like you..
lead a good life... be happy.. and hopefully one day.. we'll cross paths.
then we'll take the risk again?
this hurts.. but its necessary.

that moment

how did things become so complicated? i love you. and you love me. but then there's the question of compatibility. what if we're not compatible for each other. is love enough to hold us together?
it hurt me the most when u said u were unhappy in the relationship. to have to compromise to my lifestyle...and that is when i started to struggle. shld i sacrifice or shld i stay true to what i want..a choice u asked me to make
i admit i may not be the best girlfriend in the world. i love to be with my friends. i love to have fun. i love YOU. but izzit that hard to have it all? we've been through this for too long.. i noe u're getting tired.. of my words without actions. i tried but i failed.
we started too young.. and its been 6 years. im afraid this relationship would mould me into someone im not.. but then again.. i cant bear to lose you.
the thought of being single did cross my mind. but the 6 years have been awesome despite the ups and downs. im looking forward to living a life with you. a better you. a more confident and secure you.
i cant live up to some requirements of yours. i cant bring myself to.
there comes a point where you have to mature and think carefully about the future. the problems we have are repetitive because our mindset is different. our personalities are different.
im scared of where ur decision would bring me.
take this time to find you. i need you to love yourself and be assured.
-im still here-

sylvia!!

now u see her...


now u don't!!

Sawatdee Kaa

whee! im back from bkk!! its funny how i cant think of things to write. there are just too many bits and pieces everywhere! but well.. im missing thai already... the languages..the massages..the company..the clubbing..the shop till you DROP..the pollution the traffic jams.
haha.. well, i plait my hair. felt a lil weird at first.. haha.. not used to it i guess.. but im loving it now! haha.. but buay tahan ah, cannot wash. :(
oh man.. im speechless.. for more details go look at fab's blog. haha.. even though its like 3/4 about thai girls. but still.. its really great! hahaha.. cant wait for the pictures and the videos!!!! ahhhhh!!

MOS

whoohoo!!! MOS was fantastic! hee..im still feeling a lil tipsy right now.. but im still trying really hard to keep my eyes and fingers movin.. cause im leaving for bangkok tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whee!! haha.. it feels like some ordinary day.. where u go to the bus stop and take a bus. but i'll be going to the airport instead.. to take aplane. :D wahaha.. whats even greater is.. when im back from my trip.. my darling baby alvinini will be back too!!!!!!!!!! cant wait to hug him till his lungs burst. haha.. yay yay yay!

Me and my SMILE

was browsing through the photos ruiyi and kelly sent.. and i realised.. i look very LOL in many pics. literally.

a few months back the LOL started..oh man...unglam unglam..


this is nice... but nooooo...wait..


and WAHAHAHAHA


WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


this is just WAH


jialat man, somebody glue my mouth. hahaha.. thats the prob with digicam la..there are no limits to ur pics.. so u tend to not put in as much effort to take a perfect picture.. eg.. would u take a pic of yourself on your own (the classic wrist twisting action) with a normal cam? you'd properly set up the timer.. adjust it for like 1 min and then run to position and smile beautifully to make it picture perfect. only then,.. wahahahas won't happen. :P

but hey..i can be serious too.

teehee

my boy has been gone for a week now. argh!!!!!! come back now!

i miss you i miss you

oh man, its one of those sleepless nights again.. monday=work=boring. its almost 3am now. me=dead. motivation=bangkok.
gdnite babies.

its mama's day!

whoopee~ according to my mom, my youngest sis has officially become a WOMAN. haha..
every mother's day.. i always have a headache of what to do for my mom. we did almost evyerthign already! we did skits for quite a while.. musicals..haha.. we made lunch.. we clean the house.. we hid at a corner and surprised her.. oh no..well, i am going to the spa with her.. but what else can i do which can involve all 4 of us! headache.
well.. i do have a few kids of my own u noe. its a secondary sch thing la which caught on until now. wahaha..so i received a msg from shawniee in the afternoon.. but none from *AHEM AHEM* cough cough! haa..
ok.. so yesterday was a weird day.. it felt like we were all trying very hard to get somethign done.. haha.. weird...

-sometimes to stop it, u just have to not think about it. yup.. that's the right thing to do.

Adzree

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADZREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you're 20!! :D welcome to the club. :)

My limit

just wanna say how grateful i am to have my girls with me in the evening when the afternoon was hell. im going to look forward to every wed! yup! :D

self love.

how can anyone love you when you don't even love yourself? weird huh.. i remember vaguely how miss teo told us how commercials use words to buy us. like "because you're worth it" by loreal? haha.. ya of course we're worthy for lipstick! haha. but are we worthy of love? i've been thinking about it during my sleepless nights..the things you do, the way you think, you as a person.. are you worthy for romance? because humans tend to take things for granted when they THINK they have it all and that is when they have nothing.
so don't be so full of yourself.. have a bigger heart, and the world around you may change..:D
hehehe..
i sent my first snail mail today! haha.. wrote two pages of nonsense to alvin just so he could see my handwriting and realise how bad his is. haha..seriously, i dun even know if he gave me the right address. it was LAKIUN camp but he wrote it like LUKHIM. hai, and i was stupid enough not to put a return add. just hope it reaches him.
aiyo.. writing letters feels so secondary school. haha.. all the memories started flowing back. its nice. :)
well, if u don't already know.. i was unwell and vomitted like 5 times in a day.. but all is good now! thank god.. hate that feeling everytime u *bleahhhhhh* into the toilet bowl. its worse when you have to look at it! wah disgusting. ok. gtg! gdnite all.

ps: i finally know how to pronounce yves saint lauren. -_-

A Mother's Love

im watching oprah and im sobbing right now. it must have been the most touching thing i ever came across.
Peyton was only a 6 year old girl when she lost her mom, aron, to cancer. however, when her mom knew she was going to leave the world.. and her daughter, she started videotaping herself.
she made hundreds of tapes for her daughter,giving motherly advice, encouraging her, simply just letting her daughter feel love even though she's physically nt there. she talked about her favourite songs, how to choose a husband, how to make boys like you..etc.
she made enough tapes to last for 12 years, till her daughter reach 18. she also prepared presents for her birthdays in advance.
Aron passed away when Peyton was having a stay over at her friends house. when she heard the news the next morning, she couldnt believe it.
she's 13 now and she's saying how she got through the years. The gates opened when i saw the tape where her mom cried and said "i wanna let you know that i'll be there with you. i will never leave you and you will feel me right there on your wedding day."
and the most meaningful words she said
"if god decides to take me to heaven and im in heaven, im going to be looking for another soul to bring to daddy. i want you to know that i'd be very much blessed for daddy remarrying."
oh my, i still cant stop crying.

pain

"Despite its unpleasantness, pain is a critical component of the body's defense system. It is part of a rapid warning relay instructing the motor neurons of the central nervous system to minimize detected physical harm."

it suddenly hit me today that i have a superb ability to tolerate pain. i was walking around with my bronze pointy pair of shoes, the material allows it to expand.. so it became too loose and i got so frustrated with it, and decided to buy a new pair.
went into U.R.S inc and i was quickly reminded of kelly and her bad shoe experience. haa.. anwyayz, that new pair i bought, I KNEW its going to give me all the covered shoes crap, like blisters??...but i couldnt resist.
walked, ran, climbed with those shoes the whole day and now, the back of my feet is skin-less and my second toe has 2 cuts. :D
oh man, this is so "stupid girls". i paid 39.90 for pain. which concludes, im not patronizing U.R.S anymore. -period- :D i'd rather go for marie claire. haha..
sent alvin off at the airport, saw huanyang.. gosh she's getting prettier! hehe..
hai.. just cant bear to see him leave. i know its 16 days, but aiya..just kinda worried.. afterall, he's quite prone to injuries. *prays*

super size me!

i've decided to test my new asics trainer and went to challenge bedok reservoir. u noe, i always thought it wasnt that big... i mean.. how big can a BOODOK RESERVOR be? haa.. but i was wrong! ..always..
so i ran like its the end of the world and when i was about to reach the halfway mark (u noe, that white colour building thingy la), it started to rain!!!! i think god saw how breathless i was and gave me a reason to rest. :D
ok..whenever i break my momentum, -the end- so i ran for another 5 min? and walked the rest of the way. hai, im so ashamed.. esp when i was running with alvinini, the mr incredible.
went to changi beach club after..i think jogging really does work up an appetite. i ate 2 ribeye steaks, half plate of spaghetti and fried rice. i need self control. but im satisfied and bloated.
tried my luck at jackpot. cheat money la. it's seriously too boring for me..i just dun get the game, i also dun get the money. hmm.. maybe when im 40 or 50 i'll start to appreciate the sound of 1 dollar coins slot into the machines and never coming back. my mom says im too pessimistic in jackpot thats why i never won. maybe?
anywayz, alvin's flying to brunei tomorrow. i am sad. very sad. :( thank goodness i have the bangkok trip to kill time. :D haha.. and when im back, alvin would be already home! goodies.

my cousin and sis, both turning 12, they're verrry interested about how alvin and i got together. i always loved to tell the story bout how a sanitory pad started the whole story, but i simply cut the story short and told them "alvin kor kor just call me and ask whether i can be his gf lo". and they went "ooooooooh man!!! so romantic!!!"
very funny.. guys nowadays dun really need to do much to be romantic huh.
haha..

BeBe

i've been surfing BeBe and im addicted. im sooo in love with their designs! i was looking all over the net for THE dress that im gonna invest in. haa.. i want all of bebe's! :P *hint hint* wahaha.
i loooove to have dinner with the girls. we eat, we talk, we laugh. we make the most classic jokes. only xiaomin could mistake "anna sui" as "ahha hi!" hahaa! that girl ah..:D
ok, im very into osteoporosis nowadays. i cant stop telling peopel around me, young and old, that osteoporosis starts attacking females from age 20! ahh! huge reminder to all.. calcium~, have a balanced diet, have regular exercise, have regular periods and you'll be fine. u dun wanna be looking at the ground wherever you go when you're 60 don't you? :D
work tomorrow. im so excited -_-. gdnite!

ghost

damn you bark cafe. the hidden at duno where beside the stupid prison. waste my petrol waste my time. don't laugh at me.. laugh at all of us. haha.. fab syl and i. :P
dinner at BERNIE'S turned out to be not too bad. :D
i have nothign else to write. just wanna complain bout the 1 hr in tamp 1 hr in changi trip.
gdnite!

spell with me..

D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y.... not definately.

i've seen too many.